half eagle, half lion..

dang!  last night was probably one of the best nights in my 22nd year of life.. I mean, I told him I would test him and he passed, with flying colors.. as a matter of fact, I even feel a bit more colorful today. I have had this beaming smile all day.. I guess that's what happens when you find a guy you are so comfortable you can pull off about anything with... and by anything, I mean anything.. a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, but with more passion and less reservations.. he's the guy you sit around and daydream about.. He wants success and craves the same amount of power you do..  sometimes you'd swear he had eight hands, all over you.. but, on the other side you know that he's a heart breaker and a free bird like yourself, he might not ever settle down, he may lie to your face and be so cunning to get away with it.. lost in the space..

So, what happens next??

You worry about you and what makes you happy! If he is supposed to be your mate or whatever, he'll come to you.. Make sure you play your cards in the right order and you continue to explore Jazz music because that's what YOU want to do... Treat him like a temporary fix for now, something that's fun and daring but.. you know you cant get strung out on it.. If he is addictive remember to breathe between your meetings, and don't stress about it.. NEVER STRESS.. I wish I could include a photo, but how appropriate would that be?

co-writing with sammie poo.

"let's write about boys are just retarded"

deal..

SO where to start, well first lets start with the boys in our community that are convinced they are MEN. I mean from the THUG NASTYS to the rednecks, I mean we cant consider you man until you have some of the following traits: respect. money. job. transportation. emotional stability. your divorced papers signed. if you never sang that song "dat baby don't look like me" and meant it. no suicidal thoughts or tendencies for that matter.. and lastly, we will consider you a man, if you aren't afraid of the five letter word that rules all. P***Y.

Since that's out of the way let's dive deeper into a few issues that have been storming around..

I would like to start off in a venting session about one titled Tilo.. of course, his identity on here cannot be tracked back to him in any way but.. I like this guy, I think he is super sexy, very smart, and we have this natural attraction to one another.. I don't really know what his problem is though. I am NOT asking him for a relationship by any means, just relations. (if you know what I mean) I have been with him, and I must say he met ALL of my sexpectations.. He was romantic, but fierce he kssed me from head to toe and bit me in the heat of the moment.. Hes the first guy I have felt in tune with, in quite awhile.. TRUST ME, he made it clear he enjoyed himself, and he kept coming back for more and more.. until one day he turned shady and disappeared.. What the Fuck?? I feel deprived, or sexually furious as my friend killer would say..


Let's move to the next boy offender in my circle of pals.. I wont go into great detail, but let's just say.. You can't wear your heart on your sleeve especially when it comes to an older woman.. Older women, thrive off the young energy when it comes to having amazing sex... we like the "youthful energy" as you could call it. But, when one person thinks your in a relationship and the other don't.. that can cause a clusterfuck of a mess. Here's the damn kicker though, ready for this?? Typically its the GIRL who reads more into a relationship.. in this case it was the MALE.. My friend played her cards, and played him.. but, kept it real the whole time.. he just hearing what she was saying all along.. I mean I've heard people say Love is blinding, but is it deaf too??

and if its truly love, its supposed to hurt so good, not so bad..


OOOOk.
I dont wanna go in on the last one, sign the papers all ready.. dang stop leading her on.. PUHLEASE, shit isnt fair and if you're not careful.. I'll make sure the tables are turned on you.. Trust.


Thanks,
Yours Truly and Forever
 Penelope and Pandora
(the alter egos)

pretend time..

Sometimes I like to take a mental vacation and pretend I am far, far away.. today I have been staring off into space and thinking about all sorts of things I normally wouldn't. I need peace of mind on a lot of issues that have been shifting around in my own head.. Tonight, I am getting lost in Amy Winehouse Radio on pandora, and I am going to take the time to think and vent..

Deleted my Facebook, I mean poof! and it was finally gone. I must say I feel LIBERATED in so many ways.. I want to go back to the old times where people didn't know where I am, at all parts of the day... I don't want to associate with some people anymore, and I don't want people to have the ability to say they know anything remotely about me or my life..


I am very thankful to have GREAT friends, who keep me going everyday, and often times treat be better than family.. I am trying to become the best influence in many people's lives that I am surrounded with.. I have a new love for jazz music and powerhouse singers.. I think I am growing older not in age, but in mentality.. These past few days I have been having epiphanies left and right. I have finally learned that every decision, everything you say, and more importantly everything you touch will change your overall human experience, and I am not holding back anymore..

Dont get me wrong, and please don't mistake me.. I don't want to live careless and be dangerous. I just want to say Yes! to new opportunities and never be afraid to be daring. I mean, I don't care to be confused for the time being, and I know mistakes are part of growing up, but sometimes I need to make the mistake more than once to really grasp the concept.. and sometimes, we don't see things as mistakes until something better comes along. So, I am going to keep on keeping on because that's what "what's his face would do"


I know that I am going 10000 different places with this one, but I am venting rememeber.. When I go back and read this, I will know what every paragraph refers to and what every sentence means to me.. :)

emerald tri-angle

seems like i am on here more and more... but i must say i'm watching some specials on cnbc.. and its got me thinking  i would like to travel to the emerald triangle. they are making so much money there, with schools, stores, and doctors. all natural. and legit. Maybe, one day i will visit California.. but i wouldn't leave a bottle of hot sauce laying around, in a national park no less. i mean take the fifty billion dollar industry and combine that with the ten billion you use each year to fight it.. to me that says sixty billion dollars to invest back into the suffering economy.. i mean dang.. let people grow it, dang. its better than the prescription shit people are fed each and every single day.. I don't see what a plant coming from the ground could hurt anyone in the first place. Seems to me like some people got it right, forget the government, grow weed. (indeed)



en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emerald_Triangle

occupational therapy

Key word being occupational.. What is your current occupation? Is a legit one.. Are you making honest money, or are you cheating people. I am proud to say the telemarketing companies in town have been shut down.. And i think the shit is to funny. I feel bad that alot of people have lost their jobs, and they are down and out with nothing.. But truth is we all fall down on our face, but you have to know when your doing something crooked you will have to deal with the reprecusions. I'm just saying for telemarketer, amateur street pharmaceutical specialist, and the fuckers who came up with pyramid schemes.. I'm just saying go out and work for you damn money like i do.. Thanks.

unique individual

You know I hear people tell me all the time that I am one of a kind. So much as its becoming second nature to me when I hear people say it.. I guess it's my way thinking, I believe in the good in people and I always have faith. I don't consider myself one kind of person in any form it fashion. I don't get mad, and I hardly ever get jealous. I don't speak without thinking first and I choose my words wisely.  I don't have to cuss you out to make you feel ignorant, that makes me look stupid.. I love who I love, and I surround myself with this people on a daily basis.. I don't have to see someone everyday to like them, hell I don't have to even see someone once a week. I have little patience for ignorance. I'll never tell you a lie, unless your ass looks fat but... That's neither here nor there.  I'll probably go more into depth into these ideas about myself but not tonight.. -amber

right as rain?

I get excitement in my bones, lol..
So I must say I am single.. I think I was born to be a freebird, it like I am afraid of commitment.. I mean I like having the same people in my life, but I am afraid to say yes to any of them.. I am afraid of another relationship turned sour and a friendship lost. I don't want to go through another heartbreak, nor do I want to put someone through that.. I have learned to think before I act on my hearts desires.. Its like I want to get married one day and start a family, or even build from a broken one.. but the whole idea of another controlling male becoming one with me is scary. but, the question if I am always going to be missing out on something is there too... Ill never know for sure, I suppose.. I sure hope if I do stumble across the man that I cannot live without, he doesn't try to clip my wings... but fly with me..


from my facebook: follow your heart, don't over think thinking, let it ride but never fall from your own pride... one day at a time, you can build that dollar from a dime.. ♥ amber.